Not The Typical Grammer Of Benefit Cheats

Welcome back my avid readers to another edition of absent grey mattered madness. This week is a very special week in the history of CB1984, for this week I will be posting two entries. One (this one) will be a regular ranted attack on the establishment a la Gareth, the other will be a one off special guest post from my soon to be podcast partner P.H. He will be hopefully explaining the part he has played on the creative side of my mediation to you, my public. Have a read of it as he has stated to me that it will be the only time he will interrupt the regular blog, but felt he had to introduce himself before he is heard on the podcast – still in the development stage. Let’s get on with the reason why you are all here, my rants. The category this week is fashion and popular culture. This is a broad spectrum of stuff to talk about but I will give it a go.

Fashion is a steaming pile of shit. End of that category. Seriously though, why are so many people obsessed with looking like everyone else? For that matter, why are so many people obsessed with being an individual and not conforming to the masses? Both sides of the argument are wasting too much time with looking the way they are that they are missing the big picture; who bloody cares? For instance, a certain type of person will dress up specifically to look intimidating to others. They wear hoodies and baseball caps whilst hanging around in packs outside fast food restaurants shouting “bruv” and “sick.” Give me my machete and a dozen black sacks, I have an idea. Although they look intolerably stupid and wasteful of their time, they are after all just kids underneath and probably don’t really have anywhere else to go. It’s the ones that do the same thing and are around my age that I detest more than anything. There are many places to go for people in their mid to late twenties that don’t involve looking and acting like a total social reject. Pubs were built for this very purpose so stop cluttering up my town centre with your attitudes and loudness. Get drunk and pass out somewhere, at least you’ll be quiet.

Fashion is just another way of pigeonholing people into categories. I thought that once you left school and became an adult you would leave that superficial and pretentious world behind. I look out onto the high street and shopping centres and all I see are people still trying to fit in with the way they look. Whilst we are on the subject of pretentiousness in popular culture, I have to put in this story that happened to one of my friends. He was working for a nice tidy restaurant as a waiter some years back and was serving a well-spoken family who were out for a nice meal. When it came to serving the wine he poured a dash of wine and waited for approval before the distribution to the other glasses. About five minutes passed before the lead male of the table called him over and demanded a fresh bottle because the one he served tasted off according to his wife. My friend was quite annoyed with this but took the bottle, went away and came back with exactly the same bottle with the same wine in it. The man’s wife tasted and nodded her pompous approval and my friend left the table. This story tells me two things. One is that some people obviously are just out there to show off and make people look small. The other is that my mate is a genius.

In end we all are just improvising and haven’t got a clue why we are here and what we should be doing. Everybody is playing a massive guessing game if you look at it like I do. How do we know how to act or what is the right thing to do? I will tell you what we shouldn’t be doing and that’s segregating people because of how they look. Find out if they are a nob head first then segregate them from your groups. In many ways I admire community street drinkers. They just get drunk and don’t care how they look…or smell. I salute these people, from a distance of course. The only worry for a community street drinker is the risk of spilling their extra strength lager whilst chasing a pigeon or squirrel.

Another part of popular culture is the absolutely shameless act of benefit cheating. “Oh no, the money is drying up. We had better have another baby.” *NOT THE TYPICAL GRAMMER OF BENEFIT CHEATS*.  I feel like my tax money is being pissed up the proverbial wall. I think the government should ask each and every tax payer what public service or economic growth they would like to put their tax money behind each month. At least that way I will know for sure that these pathetic people won’t see a penny from me. I have an idea, and before you start the witch hunt believing me to be the next mass genocide idealist, it’s only a thought. I think that these benefit cheats and layabouts who earn more money on their arses than if they were to go into full time employment, should all voluntarily walk to their nearest LIDL or Aldi with a full petrol canister and collectively remove themselves from the gene pool. I think this would solve a lot of the economic problems that blight our position in the world financial table.

Thanks for reading my friends. Keep your ears to the ground about the podcast, it is definitely something we are serious about and it would be good to get feedback on it.