Integrated Orange Socks or Personal Dog Fetcher

Welcome back friends to another edition of my thoughts. I am currently getting used to my new iPad 2 that I have recently acquired and, I have to say, it's pretty impressive. I usually write my blog posts on my laptop but I'm giving my new toy a go for this one so there may be some grammar or spelling issues, bear with me I'm still learning.

The technology available to us these days is astonishing. Even something as simple as turning a light switch on can be done without even leaving the buttock crevices of your sofa. I like to think that I am up to date with all of the technology on offer but, alarmingly I am so far behind that it's scary. I hear people talking about megapixels and gigabytes and I look like I understand, but I really have no idea what they do and how they improve my life. I can tell you the basics, like megapixels are something to do with cameras and pictures and gigabytes are something to do with memory storage on media devices, but that is pretty much it. Jargon gets in the way of my general understanding of electronically powered devices. This is a big revelation from someone who works for a company that sells Beats by Dre headphones and Archos 10" tablets, but it is really easy to sell a product to a customer that is on the same level as you are. I don't fill their heads with technical jargon and long words that don't appear in the dictionary. All I say is "this is better than this because..." and they appreciate the simplicity of my sales pitch when I say "it has more memory storage" or "you get what you pay for." Ok so it is a bit more in-depth than that, but you get the idea.

Technology move on so fast and leaves a lot of people behind. I feel sorry for the older generations who had to come to terms with replacing VHS with DVD. Even DVD is gradually being edged out by Blu-ray and digital media. CD is losing the battle with mp3 storage devices too. It was only 20 or so years ago that cassettes were still in circulation and CD was an up and coming alternative. I’m starting to feel like the older generations now. I say things like “in my day” even though I am the right side of 30. Ten years ago my mobile phone was a BT-Cellnet brick. Five years on my phone was a Samsung D900. It was a little bit smaller with a camera and mp3 player plonked in it. It's 2011 and I am still one handset behind everyone else with regards to the iPhone. While everyone else is gallivanting around with face time and night vision compatible iPhone 4's, I have the less popular older brother in the iPhone 3GS. In purchasing the iPad 2 through my work's salary sacrifice scheme, I am now bang up to date. Although even with this new touch screen thingy I still feel as if I'm behind some people knowledge-wise. When I tell someone that I have an iPad 2 they start using fancy acronyms like IOS and PDF. For all I know they could stand for “integrated orange socks” or “Personal Dog Fetcher.” Clearly nonsensical drivel but it got me thinking that you could theoretically invent any device and name it what you want. For instance I could invent a product that could butter your toast exactly how you like it and give it the acronym “DTBTFYBYATLTDIY” translated as “Device That Butters Toast For You Because You Are Too Lazy To Do It Yourself.” Hardly a commercial title but you can see my point.

Maybe I am being too pedantic about the whole subject. Maybe it is easy to learn jargon words and how to use/maintain certain products. I am just one of those people that turn things on without knowing how they work. I have no idea how the TV remote makes the volume louder and softer, changes the channel or picks a colour when I’m playing Bamboozle on teletext. All I know is the term used is infer-red, everything else is just smoke and mirrors for all I know. If the world ended tomorrow and I am the last human alive, I would have no idea what to do if my dishwasher breaks down or the boiler packs up. I guess that would be the least of my problems in a post-apocalyptic world so swings and roundabouts. If an advanced race of intergalactic travellers were to visit our planet, I would hope that they didn’t choose my back garden to land in. I could tell them last week’s football results or how I like my steak done, but I would come unstuck if they asked me any intelligent questions about astronavigation or engineering. You may as well be asking a blind person what the clouds look like.

Thanks for reading.