I Also Like Belching, Swearing And Telling Dirty Jokes

Welcome back my unsuspecting victims to another edition of drivel in the shape of my grey matter. May is at it's latter stage, December and January are a distant blip on our annual radars now. We all are finally starting to get a foothold of our finances after an expensive Christmas period and a long first few months of 2012. I for one am in an optimistic mood for the final 7 months of this particular year, but that doesn't mean I am going to move away from my responsibilities on here and be Mr Nice on this blog. There is still plenty to rant about and an everlasting supply of stuff to poke fun at. This week has a topical theme and I bet you can guess who I will be attacking, no? Well you will have to read on won't you...

I am going after the bitter and twisted world of love. What do I know about love I hear you ask? Not an awful lot granted but I have a fair idea on the affect it can have on people. In my eyes there are two types of love in the world. First is the obvious between a man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman or a midget and a fat girl. This kind of love is the mushy, intimate and sexually charged type. People fall in and out of love on a daily basis so I tend to take this type with a pinch of salt. The other love is platonic and is shared between the bond of family, friends and towards pets. This love is often unconditional and very difficult to break.


I am a firm believer in love. I think when two people meet for the first time they know instantly, it is instinct and it just happens without any warning. That being said I also believe in naivity and exploitation. Women are experts in manipulation and emotional blackmail. They use a man's weekness to gain power and positions of strength. Men are a very uncomplicated gender, we only think of three things and two of them are the same thing. Women are far more complex and emotional and therefore understand situations better when it comes to love. Instead of educating men and telling us where we need to improve, most women get a kick out of watching us second-guess and squirm our way through a relationship. We all think that if we just keep her sweet and not mess up too badly, there is a treat waiting at the end of it all.

There is a very popular social networking sight that is being completely misused by really dull or self obsessed people. In fact I post this blog onto it for your pleasure. I have blocked so many people from my feed page who continuously post status updates declaring love for their other halves, who usually are in another room in the same house. I understand that you are completely smitten and want to shout about it but come on people get a grip. I can't speak for everyone but I am pretty sure nobody cares how much you love each other, let alone be updated on it every five minutes. I am completely satisfied with being single and having no complications in my personal life, but I don't want to be constantly reminded about the fact I am. I suppose one day I will wake up desperate and drop my standards but for now I am happy as I am. There are also other underlying issues with status updates on that sight but I will save that for another blog.

Some of my closest friends are in long term relationships, have kids, are married or engaged. I am happy for them and am there for them when they need me. They also understand that when they are invited on a "lads" night out, this means that they don't bring their other halves...well some of them do. It does turn the night a bit awkward if we are all meeting up to mess about and one of us turns up with a lady. It's not that we don't want her there it's just we don't...want her...there. I like the nights out where everyone is invited believe me, it's just I also like belching, swearing and telling dirty jokes. These are instantly out of the window once a female is within ear shot.